Til The Day After
by MonaGirl
Summary: Izzie wakes up after her night in Alex' bed and her whole life has changed .../past SF4
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: 'Til The Day After

**Author**: Mona

**Translation**: by sophiastevens

**Disclaimers**: Shonda Rhimes and Crew

**Genre**: Drama/Romance

**Rating**: T

**Summary/Set/Pairing**: Alex/Izzie after SF4

**Chapter 1**

The rays of sunshine streaming in through the window woke Izzie out of her dreamless sleep. It took her a moment to realize that she was no longer in her own bed. Shocked, she sat up and looked next to her; the spot next to her was empty. Her heart began to race as she remembered last night's events and how they led to her spending the night in someone else's bed and not her own.  
Had it been the right choice, to stay with him all night? She carefully ran her finger over her lips. A warm feeling that had long been forgotten rushed through her. Her breathing picked up speed as she thought about the kiss she shared with Alex. The moment their lips touched, fireworks sent through her body. The feeling had quickly passed, however, as he broke away, sobbing, and seeking comfort in her arms. She wondered what would have happened had he not broken the kiss? How far would she have gone?

She stretched her arms over her head and then rolled over the other side of the bed. It was cold. So it must have been hours since Alex left the room and possibly the house. So what was supposed to happen now? What would it be like when they see each other next? Was she happy that he had already left? She knew that she couldn't let him run away from this. They needed to talk about what happened. But what exactly did happen? Actually, nothing bad. He had kissed her and then they fell asleep next to each other with their clothes on. But it was not what had actually happened that was causing her unrest, but rather, the feelings it triggered.  
She had felt the feelings for a while, since shortly after Ava or Rebecca or whatever Alex called her returned into his life. She tried to convince herself that it didn't mean anything, that she was only concerned for a friend. And it had pained her to see how lovingly and thoughtfully Alex cared for Ava.

With a quiet moan she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. She had just managed to have somewhat of a handle on her life and now this! She was hopeless, it seemed, when it came to relationships. Her time with George should have been a lesson. Don't fall in love with a man who is already attached! But Alex wasn't George and he wasn't married but he wasn't exactly emotionally free. But she had already crossed the line by kissing him and spending the night in his bed…

She hadn't hesitated but rather gave in right away when Alex asked her to spend the night with him. It was instinct to lay her arms around his neck; it was natural to press her lips against his. In the moment, it had felt good and right. And as she held him in her arms as he cried, she could not imagine a place she would rather be. But now the night was over and the bed next to her empty. So how was it supposed to go now? Should she pretend that nothing happened? It was probably the best solution; after all, nothing really happened – at least nothing she should be ashamed of. She had just wanted to help a friend, to make the night a little more tolerable for him.

She shut her eyes and travelled back into her memories one more time to remember that night. A warm, tingly feeling coursed through her as she thought about Alex kissing her and laying her arms around his neck. She jerked open her eyes. Who was she trying to fool? Not nothing had happened. She couldn't exactly put her feelings into words but she couldn't ignore them either. She had thought before that she could erase that night from her memory, but she realized now that the night would change everything.  
She looked at her watch. It was time to begin the day. A warm shower and a good breakfast would be good for her, to reawaken her spirit. A barely recognizable laugh flitted across her face as she left the bedroom and made her way to the bathroom.

~~~

Looking behind himself to make sure no one was following him, Alex ran across the floor. The reason he was acting so inconspicuously was because he actually had the day off today. If Bailey caught him, he would have to answer a lot of unpleasant questions, questions he would gladly evade. But there was no way in the world that he could have stayed at home after last night. Taking a deep breath he opened the doors to the cafeteria and walked over to the freshly brewed coffee. It was a blessing that no matter what time, day or night, coffee was always available. He usually wasn't a very big coffee drinker but today he needed the caffeine in order to get his head on straight. But he doubted it was only the lack of caffeine that was making him feel so strange. The other, more important, reason was probably still sleeping in his bed – Izzie. Quickly he reached for the coffee pot and let the hot liquid flow into his cup. He didn't want to think about her right now, not with a sober stomach. Just then he realized that he was hungry, too. He grabbed a croissant that was lying in a breadbasket and quickly grabbed a table and sat down with his back facing the door in the mostly empty cafeteria. As he drank some of his coffee, he tried to sort out his thoughts.

What had been going on with him last night? How could he let himself do that, to beg her to spend the night with him? How could he ever look Izzie in the eyes again?

Sighing he pushed the coffee cup away and ran his fingers through his hair. He would have to apologize; he would have to explain why he even kissed her in the first place. The problem was, he didn't even know why he kissed her. When she sat next to him and looked at him the way she did, all of his long forgotten feelings bubbled to the surface. He thought he was over her. He honestly thought he would only see her as a good friend. But he was only fooling himself. This became clear to him when, after a brief pause, her smooth, lustful lips locked with his once again. And this time there was no hesitancy as there been when he first kissed her that night. Perhaps, though, it had been a pity kiss, so that he would believe, even if only for a moment, that she wanted this as much as he did. Believing that she wanted it as much as he had would just be wishful thinking on his part. The anguish and exhaustion of the previous night finally overwhelmed him.  
She stayed with him the whole night. Only after she fell asleep, with one arm draped protectively around his waist, did he look at her. He wasn't the first time he had watched her while she slept. He did when they were more or less officially together and had loved it when he had the opportunity to stay with her and watch her in secret. He savored every minute of it. He breathed in the smell of her vanilla shampoo and imagined what it would be like it they were actually together. By the time dawn had arrived all doubts vanished and a state of disillusionment set in. Izzie hadn't kissed him because she was passionately in love with him; she kissed him because he basically begged for it. She had kissed him because she wanted to show compassion for a friend. There were many reasons why she kissed him. She probably would have kissed any other man in the same situation. The kiss had meant nothing – not for Izzie anyway. He was sure of this. And he realized, since the kiss, how much Izzie still meant to him. This would not make living together in the same house very easy.

When the door to the cafeteria swung open he knew before he even turned around who had just walked in. He could sense who it was. Slowly he stood up and turned to face her.

"Alex!"

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. "No! Please Iz! Before you say anything, hear me out first."

She nodded. He could tell by her expression that his harsh reaction had confused her.

"What happened last night shouldn't have happened," He threw the idea out quickly, glad he finally got it out. He was sure that this would put Izzie at ease. "I'm sorry and I promise you nothing like this will ever happen again. With bated breath and his hands hidden in his pockets he looked at her with nervous and expectant eyes.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Izzie felt as though someone had just poured a bucket of ice water on her head. She stared bewildered at Alex. He regretted the kiss? This was definitely not what she was expecting. But what did she really expect? For him to take her in his arms and kiss her passionately? Definitely not! Not after what had happened with Rebecca. She felt herself blush under his gaze. What did he expect from her now? She had no idea. She had come for entirely different reasons and the conversation she had in mind didn't match at all with his. Nervously, she wet her lips with her tongue as she realized what she had in mind certainly wasn't what he had been expecting. She willed the lump in her throat to disappear.

"Okay…" she finally said.

"Good," he was relieved that she had accepted his apology so quickly. He let out a strained laugh. "Now that we've cleared that up… what are you doing here so early?" he quickly changed the subject.

Cleared that up? Izzie let the words sink in. What was clear now? Nothing was clear! She felt her anger begin to build. It was so typical Alex, avoiding all uncomfortable topics and situations.

"I woke up and you…" she stopped in the middle of her sentence. No. She would not say 'and you weren't there'. If she said that, then it would seem as if it were a normal occurrence that they woke up in bed together. "Are you okay?" she offered instead to finish the sentence.

Alex shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, why not? Are you?"

Izzie wrinkled her forehead. Should she answer his question with another question, just as he did? But she nodded anyway, even though she was definitely not happy with the way things turned out.

"Fine," he said. "Don't be mad at me, but I wanted to stop by by Rebecca today," he pointed towards the door. "She's being brought to the psychiatric clinic today and I promised her I would see her again before she left." It was a lie. He promised Rebecca nothing of the sort. Quite the opposite, actually. They had already said goodbye the day before. But Izzie's proximity made him nervous. The atmosphere was just too tense.

Her heart sank. Of course! How dumb she was to think he still had feelings for her. He loved Rebecca! That was why he cried. He had wanted to move in with her when he thought she was pregnant with his baby. Of course he loved her. She had seen how thoughtfully he cared for her while she stayed at Meredith's house.

"Is that why you're here, even though it's your day off?" she asked quietly.

Alex nodded, although he wasn't sure why Izzie was asking the question. But it was time to clear some stuff up about things. He cleared his throat. "I really am thankful for what you did for me last night. I…." he stopped midway as the cafeteria door opened and a hospital staff member walked in. He gave a tense laugh. It really would have been better just to leave this conversation alone. The walls had ears here and he really didn't want to be the new topic in all the gossip.

"Whatever…" he cleared his throat again and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I'll see you later." He felt all eyes of people follow him as he left the cafeteria.

Izzie watched him for a moment before turning away and walking over to the table, where coffee and biscuits awaited her. Absent-mindedly she grabbed herself a coffee cup and poured a cup of the hot liquid. What had he wanted to say before he was interrupted? She really wanted to know. Maybe she would have the opportunity to talk to him about it again. She looked at her watch. She still had time before her shift began. So Izzie just took her cup of coffee and sat at a free table.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was quiet. Way too quiet as Izzie stepped into the house. She worked a lot longer than she had planned on working and all she wanted to do now was take a hot shower and crawl into bed.

"Meredith? Alex? Are you guys here?"

She set her purse down and took off her jacket which she then hung up in the hall closet. Shaking her head she walked up the stairs after she made sure there wasn't anyone in the living room or in the kitchen. Where was everybody?

"Meredith," she knocked on the door. When she didn't receive an answer she opened it carefully. She stood shocked in the doorframe. The bed was untouched. Everything looked just as the night before. So Meredith didn't spend last night in her own bed either. A smile flitted across her face as she walked away. Her fling with Derek Shepherd seemed to be turning into something serious. She had spent the night before with him in his trailer, too. Izzie turned and glanced down the hallway and saw a light spilling out from underneath a closed door. It would seem that Alex was home. Taking a deep breath she walked towards the door but then suddenly stopped her movements. Was it smart, just to walk into his bedroom? They had both seen where that could lead. And tonight they were alone in the house again. Izzie felt the hairs on her arms raise and her heartbeat quicken. They were alone and if they were to kiss this time, it wouldn't be out of feelings of sadness or pity, but rather… she didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she shook her head at the absurd thoughts she was having. Alex had made it very clear earlier that day that they would never repeat last night's kiss. It was a mistake that he did not want to make again. And she was the last person who would try to persuade him to doing something, to do something he wasn't ready for. She clenched her fists. He loved Rebecca. And after she was out of the psychiatric clinic with a couple of months of therapy, they would get back together and Alex would start a life with her again. Why was the thought of him with someone else so damn painful? Almost angry, she wiped away the tears that had unbeknownst formed in her eyes. There was only one thing she could do for him: Be a good friend. Having made up her mind, she continued her path forward and finally knocked on his door.

Morosely Alex threw another set of clothes into the suitcase before he zipped it up and answered the knock at his door.

"Yes…" he knew it was her. He had sensed she was there before she even knocked on his door. Izzie was the only person he had this connection with. It was weird. He wondered how he should explain to her what he just did but he figured that words might not do any good. He couldn't say, 'Hey Izzie! I'm moving out because I love you and I can't stand to be near you and not be allowed to touch you and to kiss you'. Most likely she would slap him in the face and they would never see each other again. That was exactly what he wanted to avoid. Because there was something he was even more afraid of, and that was losing the friendship they had. Sighing, he turned and raised his head as she entered the room.

Izzie stood there for a moment, shocked. She refused to accept what her eyes saw in front of her.

"You… want to go on vacation?" she finally mustered as she gestured towards his suitcase.

"No," he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her guiltily. "I'm moving out."

So there. It hadn't been so difficult after all to say it out loud. But his stomach turned in knots as he saw her facial expression.

"Moving out?" Izzie felt as though at any moment her voice might leave her. The unreal word rang in her ears. "Because of last night?" Did she really just say that out loud? Oh my God she did! She could tell by the expression on his face.

He tried not to let on how affected he was by her question. Yes, he thought. Because of the kisses and because he was afraid something like that would happen again. That night resurfaced many old feelings. If he had denied it before, he for sure knew now that he still loved Izzie.

"Alex… Is it because of last night?" she bore further.

He shook his head. It was at the point where it was just easier to lie.

"I thought about moving out before. I just never had the chance to talk to either of you about it," he quickly made up.

Izzie frowned. Why didn't she believe him? It sounded completely plausible. Up until the time he found out Rebecca wasn't pregnant, he must have been looking for an apartment for them. But, because Rebecca was gone, there wasn't a reason for him to move out anymore.

"Have you found an apartment yet?" she asked suspiciously.

Heat raised through his body. Should he keep lying? It was probably too late to start telling the truth. He nodded while he tensely smiled.

"Where?"

Somehow he had considered that she might keep asking him questions. Gradually it dawned on him that she suspected he was lying.

"What?"

"Where will you be living?" Izzie would not admit defeat. She knew he was lying. She just didn't know why.

Nervously he cleared his throat. "Outside of Seattle," he made up quickly again.

"Address? Telephone number? Name of the landlord?" Izzie stood in front of him, her hazel eyes almost only slits.

"What is this? An interrogation?" he demanded.

Slowly she shook her head. "No, I just want to know why you're lying to me!"

You could hear a pin drop. That's how quiet it was in the room.

"So what happens now?" Izzie continued after the silence had become unbearable. "Are you going to transfer to a different hospital so you don't have to see me during the day either?" She didn't mean for the question to sound like an accusation. But that's the way it came out before she could stop herself.

The shocked look in his eyes was real as he looked at her. He couldn't believe that she thought he would actually go that far. He looked over at his packed suitcases. Why did she think that he was doing this? Slowly he shook his head.

"I'm sorry if you've felt that I've involved myself too much in your life." Izzie began reluctantly, "but I really did just want to help you." Automatically she closed the distance and stared at him with pleading eyes. "If I promise you that I won't get involved in your life…" she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, "will you stay then?"

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

For a moment, he was unable to move. Her hazelnut brown eyes pleaded with him for a 'yes!'. The question was: Why didn't she want him to move out? But the thought of being all alone in the big house could be depressing.

"I'll talk with Meredith," his voice sounded unnaturally harsh. "I'm sure you'll find a new roommate in no time." He tilted his head and looked at her thoughtfully. "Maybe you can ask O'Malley. I'm sure he would love to live here again."

"George?" she stammered as the blood rushed to her cheeks. She just realized that he still believed that she had something with George or that she was still in love with him. Her heart gave a joyful leap. If Alex reacted that way, that must mean he was jealous. Or was that just wishful thinking on her part?

He shrugged his shoulders. He didn't feel as flippantly about the situation as he was trying to seem. The conversation had taken a turn that he really didn't like. But it was his own fault. Why did he have to bring this up?

"He's living with Lexie," Izzie reminded him as she began to pull on a strand of her hair. She could kick herself for saying that. She was such a damn chicken! Why didn't she just tell Alex she didn't want to be with George?

"Yeah, I know," he raised his eyebrows, "I meant, since he's free…" You're such an idiot Karev! He should just keep his mouth shut and get out of this place before it got any more painful.

"You still haven't answered my question," Izzie said calmly. She folded her hands together so he couldn't see how much they were shaking.

"Which question?"

Well great! Izzie inwardly rolled her eyes. Typical Alex! Whatever he didn't want to hear or see he just ignored and played dumb. She was just about to repeat her question when she heard Meredith's voice in the hallway. Quickly she dragged Alex back and locked the door behind them.

"What was that about?" he asked confused.

"I wanted to spare you from having to answer embarrassing questions." Just then she realized that her hand was still laying on his chest. Quickly she pulled her hand away and hid it behind her back.

For a moment they had been so close. It would have been easy to put his arm around her and pull her close. Why didn't he do it? The place on his chest where her hand had been still felt warm.

"Seems Meredith's in a good mood," Izzie began hesitantly. "You don't want to ruin her good mood by telling her you're going to move out, do you?" What stupid logic! But she couldn't come up with anything better at the moment. His closeness prevented any clear thoughts from forming. Was that a smile on his lips? Did he think this was funny?

"Yeah you're right," he tried to sound serious. "Surely if I told her that her life would be ruined forever."

"I'm sure of that," Izzie held back a laugh. She stopped and listened. "I think she is coming up the stairs!"

„Do you want to hide in the closet or under the bed?" This was starting to get fun.

"What?" she looked at him dumbfounded.

"Well I really would like to spare Meredith the shock of finding you here in my room at three in the morning. We would probably have to answer some embarrassing questions." He looked at her for a moment and felt relieved when he saw a big grin spreading across her face.

"I think I'll choose the bed… I mean under the bed," she quickly corrected herself. It felt good to be hanging out with him normally again. She loved the little games and banter between them. She loved him… Izzie bent over to grab the suitcase and shoved it under the bed. "Okay, done!"

He lifted his head and their gazes locked. Alex was about to take a step towards Izzie when a knock on his door interrupted him.

"Come in." Alex took a step back as Meredith swung the door open.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you… Oh, Izzie…" Meredith tried not to let on how surprised she was to find them together in Alex room. "Good that you're here, too. Now I can kill two birds with one stone."

"What is it then?" Alex glanced nervously over to his bed to make sure Izzie really had completely hidden his suitcase.

"Alex… Izzie…" Meredith took a deep breath before she continued, "I have something to share with you!"

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It was a good thing that it was a mild fall night and wasn't too cold out there she never would have let Alex talk her into drinking a beer with him on the front patio. She had pretty much just agreed because she didn't want to be alone. But his closeness was calming to her. Since there had been only one beer left in the fridge, they decided to share it. Izzie couldn't really explain it, but every time he took a swallow from the bottle and then offered it to her, all she could think of was the kiss they shared. Sighing she took a sip from the bottle.

"Hey, watch it! You're going to spill it all," Alex snatched the bottle from her.

"I'm worried about Meredith," Izzie said as she stared off into space.

"Yeah, she must be crazy to think about letting Shepherd move in here," Alex said dryly.

Izzie shot him a disgusted look. "She wants to live with the man she loves. What's wrong with that?"

Alex took another swallow from the bottle. "That she wants to kick us out. That's what's wrong with that!" He offered the bottle to Izzie again but took it back as she shook her head.

"I need to keep a clear head," she said as she played with a strand of her hair.

"You won't get drunk after five sips of beer," Alex smirked.

Izzie folded her arms across her chest because she suddenly began to shiver.

"Are you cold?" Alex asked concerned.

"A little," Izzie stared up in the sky again where the first stars were starting to appear.

"Why don't you go in and get a jacket?" Alex suggested.

"Well, because I have my pride," Izzie answered defiantly. "She threw us out, remember?"

"And because of that you would rather stay out here and willingly freeze?" Alex smirked again. He took his jacket off and laid it over Izzie's shoulders. "Here! I don't want to be responsible for your death."

Izzie gave a him a punitive look. "You find it weird too, don't you?" Without realizing it she rubbed the soft material across her cheek and inhaled the scent of his aftershave. "It doesn't matter to you either way," she murmured softly. "You were going to move out anyway and get your own apartment."

Alex lowered his head. The moment of truth had appeared. "Iz, I…" he started but was interrupted by her.

"I know this might be a little sudden but ... how big is your apartment?" Izzie asked nervously.

"What do you mean how big?" he looked puzzled.

"Well just like I said. Big enough for more than one person to live in?" She watched him as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Does that mean that you want to live with me?" he asked with a bewildered facial expression.

"Yeah… something like that…" Izzie lifted her head and looked at him. "It really wouldn't be any different. We've already lived together." She shrugged her shoulders.

He just stared at her guiltily and lost for words.

Sighing Izzie rubbed her arms and stared again into the sky. "I wonder what Meredith and Derek are going to do with all those rooms and why we actually have to move out."

"Maybe they don't want us to walk in while they're having sex in the kitchen, the bathtub, the living room and the laundry room", he smirked.

"Alex!" Izzie gave him an indignant look. "That's not funny! Only men would think of that!"

"Isn't Shepherd a man?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Enough of that!" Izzie made a gesture for him to be quiet. "We're getting off topic." She looked up at him again. "So what about my question? And don't say 'what question?'"

"You really want to live with me?" he repeated his question again.

"Of course!" she answered self-assured. "Why not?"

Alex lifted his head and sighed. " Because I don't have an apartment!" he finally confessed.

"You lied to me?" she looked at him horrified.

"You didn't believe me anyway." He shrugged his shoulders in a helpless manner.

"I didn't do it at first but I hoped ..." She got up abruptly and tore his jacket off and threw it at him furiously. "Damn you!" she cursed. "You know what? Forget it!" She walked determined to the front door.

"Where are you going?" he asked confused.

"In my room!" she snapped.

"Well, what about your pride?" he reminded her grinning.

Izzie didn't answer. She walked into the house and slammed the door behind her.

tbc


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_Cafeteria_

There are these sayings – you should sleep on it – and – time heals all wounds – and – everything will look different in the morning. These were not for Izzie. She spent the night alone in the house. Alex hadn't, as she had hoped, followed her. He had already planned to spend the night somewhere else. She went to bed and woke up alone. She saw him briefly this morning in the locker room as he was changing for work, but he avoided looking at her and she really didn't know what to say. So both of them just pretended not to notice each other. It hurts, especially since they were starting to get closer again. He looked right through – as if she were air. And that's exactly how she felt. Exhausted, drained, and depressed. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice someone sitting down at the table next to her.

"Hey Iz!"

Meredith! She was the last person Izzie wanted to see. She was not in the mood to hear about her perfect, dreamy night with Derek. She licked her wounds. She did not need any one to throw salt into them. "Hey Mer!" Izzie let out a fake smile.

"I know you're still mad at me," Meredith began, "But you should know, this wasn't an easy decision for me."

What a joke! Izzie tried not to laugh. She had needed only exactly one night with Derek to make the decision to throw her friends out!

"Alex spent the night somewhere else." The sentence was out before she could think about it. She saw Meredith wrinkling her forehead.

"You and Alex… is there something going on between you two again?" she asked suspiciously.

Startled Izzie looked up. Was it really so easy to read her mind? "No!" she said quickly. "We're just… friends.." she let out an awkward laugh as she started to blush. "Why did you even think that?"

"Well I just thought…" she stopped midway. "I'm probably mistaken." She smiled again. "Ok listen Iz! Derek had a great idea that would take care of your housing problem."

"Really?" Izzie said with little enthusiasm. She didn't expect much from Derek's idea. His last great idea left her homeless!

"Really!" Meredith rubbed her hands together as her eyes began to glow. "Now that Derek and I are both living in the house, we don't need the trailer anymore. And we thought it would be a good idea if you moved into the trailer – you and Alex." She lifted her head and looked at Izzie expectantly. "What do you think?"

"Me and Alex… in Derek's trailer?" She hoped Meredith couldn't detect the panic in her voice. Just the thought of living in the same room as him made her start to sweat.

Meredith grinned excitedly. "I was totally impressed when he suggested it." She laughed. "And he thought he was going to have to sell the trailer. Now we're going to put it to a better use."

"You must be kidding!" Izzie looked at Meredith as if she didn't quite believe her. How could she seriously suggest that they live in such a dump where you could make fried eggs on the stove while standing right in front of the bed? The bed! Izzie felt her cheeks getting even hotter. Was there even more than one bed? Were they supposed to sleep in one bed together?

Meredith stopped laughing. "No I'm not kidding. Derek thought he'd offer you the trailer before you start to sleep on park benches."

Izzie shot her an indignant look. Derek Shepherd was so generous, she thought wryly. He lived with Meredith in a ten-room-house and was so mercifully to give them his beaten up trailer so that she and Alex wouldn't have to sleep on the streets. What a nice guy!

"The trailer has everything," Meredith interrupted her thoughts. "You don't even feel like you're in a trailer." She smiled mildly. „The shower is about three feet by three feet. Two people could easily…" She stopped herself and cleared her throat. "Well… there's enough room for two. That's all I wanted to say."

"There's only one bed!" Izzie reminded her.

"Well, you could run a rope dividing the bed and then hang a blanket from it so you're separated", Meredith suggested grinning.

"But we would still be in the same bed!" Izzie shook her head. "It was really nice of Derek to offer his trailer, but no ... thanks!"

"Izzie, please think about it!" Meredith begged. „Derek wouldn't even think of charging you rent and it really is a nice place to live."

Izzie rolled her eyes. She wondered why Meredith was pushing this so much. Was she trying to cheer her up? "Maybe you had fun living there with Derek. But you guys were together. Alex and I are…" The beeping of her pager interrupted her, even though she really wanted to finish. "I have to go!"

She gave Meredith an apologetic look before running out of the cafeteria. A strange feeling grew in her stomach. Meredith had talked to her. What if Derek was trying to convince Alex to move into the trailer, too? She had to figure out what this was all about. As soon as she was done with work she would go and talk to Alex. Quickly she ran across the floor, answering her call.

tbc


	7. Chapter 7

**Randomer06, Leonie1988 and BethAnnTM – Thanks for the nice review!** I will try to update more frequently, because this fanfic is already written and also parts of the sequel.

**Chapter 7**

Alex thought about his day as he changed in the locker room that evening. The day had gone normally until Derek Shepherd cornered him and gave him the tempting offer to live in his trailer. Under normal conditions Alex would have agreed right away. He'd lived in worse places before. But there was one problem, and that problem was Izzie. The thought of living in the same room as her excited and scared him. But he knew if he would agree to live with her it would eventually be embarrassing for both of them. When they lived in a house together, it wasn't a problem for them to go their separate ways. Even though sometimes she walked in on him while he was in the shower, it never got any worse than that. They had their own rooms, their private space. And if things had gotten to be too much for them, they could lock their doors. They wouldn't be able to do that anymore. Having time alone now would mean one of them going into the woods so the other could have the trailer. And it definitely meant no privacy. They would always know when the other was going to the bathroom. Not to mention sleeping habits, such as snoring or sleeping naked.

There was only one bed, but also something, Derek assured him, that would fold out into another bed. With his luck he would be sleeping on the fake bed while Izzie slept in the king size bed by herself he thought bitterly. But on the other side – how many hours a day would he really see her? During the day they were at work and during their evenings off they were often at Joe's. One more reason to go to Joe's more often. So that just left night, which at the worst would be five or six hours. The questions was, could he really be in the same room with Izzie for five or six hours? He remembered Derek saying that the fold out bed was on the opposite side of the trailer as the real bed. With any luck, he would never hear Izzie snore. He would get used to eating breakfast at the hospital. Coffee would only take ten minutes. 6 hrs and 10 minutes versus 24 hrs was something to consider. And it would save him from sleeping on a park bench. After considering all his options and weighing the pros and the cons Alex made his decision: He would try it. If it didn't work out he could always just sleep on a park bench. He snapped out of his thoughts as the locker room door swung open and Izzie burst in.

"Please ignore the fact that I'm here and just hear me out!" Izzie began, still out of breath.

Alex nodded as an only slightly noticeable smirk formed on his lips. He knew what she was going to say. He heard from Derek that Meredith was going to go to Izzie to try and convince her to live in the trailer.

"Did Derek talk to you?" Izzie stood before Alex and crossed her arms, waiting for his reply.

He grinned as he looked at Izzie carefully.

"Cat got your tongue?" Izzie tapped her foot impatiently. "Or are you playing games again and actually ignoring me?"

"You wanted me to ignore you," Alex said shrugging his shoulders. "Am I allowed to talk again now?"

She shot him a dirty look. There was no missing the sarcasm in his voice. "Since when do you do what I ask?" She answered her own question with a wave of her hand. "Just forget what I said before."

"You haven't stopped talking since you came in here," he tilted his head and smiled. "Exactly which of the things you said earlier should I forget?"

That was the last straw for Izzie. "How can Meredith seriously suggest that I live with a Neanderthal like you who isn't smart enough to follow a normal conversation!" she yelled angrily.

It took everything Alex had not to start laughing. The nights in the trailer definitely wouldn't be boring. She was so sexy when she got angry.

"What's so funny?" she asked irritated as she noticed he was holding back a grin. "I'm being serious. I can't live with you in a tin can when everything I say is funny to you!"

"Would you live with me if I took you seriously?" he asked with a charming smile.

For a minute everything was silent. Izzie tried to ignore the fact that the little hairs on her arms started to stand up. His voice was soft, almost tender. Like a soft caress. And the way he was looking at her…

"Maybe," she said just as softly.

Alex cleared his throat. His mouth was suddenly dry. It was hard to keep looking into her eyes. Izzie had the ability to look straight into his soul. He just wasn't sure he wanted her to see what he was really feeling. Not yet anyway…

"I'm thinking that we can start with 'maybe'. What do you think?" he asked smirking.

Izzie nodded timidly as she tried to ignore the swarm of butterflies in her stomach. It was unbelievable. She had come here to tell him that there was no way she would live with him in Derek's trailer. And now she had so-to-speak agreed to live with him. One look in his eyes and she was helpless. Not a good thing to be in a platonic relationship.

"I have to go now," Alex said grabbing his bag. "I'm meeting Derek and Meredith at Joe's. Should I tell them we've decided to live in the trailer together?"

"Yeah…" Izzie was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that Alex left until she heard the door shut.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Okay, here we are!" Derek swung the door to the trailer open and let its new owners inside. Alex let Izzie go ahead of him as he looked around skeptically. Actually, the trailer looked bigger on the inside than it had on the outside. But he wasn't totally won over yet. He watched as Izzie headed for the big bed and knew that he had lost. He looked in the other direction where the fold out sofa bed was.

"We put the sofa in here after you agreed to live here," Derek said, following Alex's gaze. He pointed to the sofa that stood before a table. "The chairs turn into a bed but Meredith and I thought it might be too much to have to put the chairs back together before you eat breakfast." He grinned. "Meredith has a lot of memories with that couch. Apparently it was from when her mother still lived in her house."

Alex let out a sigh. He wondered how sturdy the couch was if it had belonged to Ellis Grey. It probably was just as comfy as it looked, he thought bitterly. He became distracted when he heard Izzie let out a delighted cry.

"Look Alex! The shower has a massage function!" She slipped out of the shower and laughed.

Derek suppressed a grin. "There's nothing better than a hot shower after a hard day at work." He cleared his throat as he saw Alex wrinkle his forehead. "So… everything's here – the stove, the refrigerator, lots of storage space, a large closet…"

"Fishing poles," Izzie said, annoyed, as she looked into one of the closets.

"I'm going to clear them out." He smiled at Alex, "Unless the man of the house would like to have fresh rainbow trout for breakfast."

Alex rolled his eyes dramatically. "You don't by any chance have any rifles around here, do you? Because then I could shoot a deer for lunch," he said sarcastically.

Izzie gave him a resentful look. "I saw a grill outside." She walked over to Derek. "Can we keep it?"

"You have to put the meat on the grill," Alex joined their conversation. "I can't see any blood." He started to grin as Izzie stuck her tongue out at him.

"What happened to being a surgeon?" She shook her head as she rolled her eyes.

"Is there a t.v.?" Alex changed the topic.

Derek was about to answer but Izzie interrupted him.

"Why do you need a television?" She asked, an amused grin on her lips. "In your free time you're going to be too busy chopping wood."

"No way!" Alex swatted the notion away with his hands. "You don't think I'm going to work while you lay on fine linens and paint your toenails, do you?"

Derek looked back and forth between the two, irritated. Then the mood changed suddenly. What had started out as fun quickly turned serious. Although he didn't understand what had escalated it. But from the aggressive way Izzie was holding her body and Alex's pinched-closed eyes he could tell things were no longer friendly.

"Yeah, I know," Izzie hissed. "You'd rather get drunk at Joe's and come home and have everything clean! That's how it was at Meredith's. You let Meredith and me cook and clean for you and you just came home and enjoyed it!"

"Meredith cooks?" Derek asked surprised.

"Yeah, lousy food." Alex raised his eyebrows. "We always split up the work. Everybody did only the work assigned to them." He shrugged his shoulders. "Meredith did most of the cleaning."

"And you?" Derek looked at him curiously.

"Nothing!" Izzie chimed in. She looked angrily at Alex. "He would have starved if I hadn't cooked for him. And the state of his room…" She didn't finish her sentence but rather rolled her eyes. "At least he does his own laundry."

"It's better that way," Alex retorted, "Then at least my white shirts don't turn baby blue or pink!"

"That is so mean! You … you … " Izzie snapped furiously but Derek stood between them.

"Hey guys… calm down!" He gently pushed Izzie to the side. "There's no reason to be fighting!" Uncertain he looked back and forth between the two. "Maybe you should rethink this whole thing living in the trailer together, don't you think?"

"And leave the luxury of a massaging shower head? Never!" To make her point she stomped with her foot. "And I would be open to living here alone!" She looked into Alex's eyes and knew she had gone too far.

"Then I guess you don't need me here anymore," He nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders, gave a nod to Derek and then quickly left the trailer.

Izzie gave Derek a shocked look. "Shit!" she murmured. Quickly she opened the door and looked in the direction he had disappeared. "Alex, wait!" Forgotten were all the words they had thrown at each other. Quickly she hurried after him.

tbc


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

She couldn't believe it! Angrily she grabbed her bag out of the closet. She hated Alex! He was cocky, insensitive, and didn't give a damn about other people's feelings! She didn't know what made her ask him five minutes ago where he would be spending the night. He gave her a dirty look and a cynical laugh in return before he grabbed his things and left the locker room while shaking his head. Izzie felt as though someone had dumped ice water on her head. She was worried since after their fight he had come back only briefly to pack a bag and then leave again. She didn't get any sleep that night and between 2 and 5 she got up and went to his room. She didn't know why. Maybe to look for a clue as to where he might have gone? Her actions did not go by unnoticed because suddenly the door opened and Meredith stood in the frame. It wasn't easy to come up with an explanation for her being in his room so late at night clothed lightly in a nightgown that barely reached her thighs. In her haste she hadn't remembered to put on a robe. But Meredith apparently already suspected something anyway because hearing Izzie try to talk her way out of this only caused her to let out an amused laugh. And then was the question of all questions: "OMG! Do you love him?"

Sighing Izzie grabbed her shirt and dragged it inside. She didn't want to think about it now; the conversation she had with Meredith was probably one she should be having with her roommate. She had gone to the hospital without eating breakfast and ate breakfast in the cafeteria. At least for a while she had her peace.

"Hey Iz!"

Shocked she looked up. She had been so deep in her thoughts she didn't even notice Meredith entering the locker room. "Hey," she answered and then hung her head again.

"I just saw Alex. He flew out of here as if the devil were trying to catch him." She looked at Izzie and wrinkled her forehead. "What did you say to him?" She sat down next to Izzie on the bench.

"Nothing," Izzie pressed her lips together and counted backwards from ten in her head. Better that than to start cursing and saying rude things. Besides, she didn't feel like satisfying Meredith's curiosity. This was between Alex and her.

"Didn't you just talk to him… about… well, you know?" she pressed while waving her hands in front of Izzie's face.

Izzie rolled her eyes. She wondered if she should tell Meredith that she could be pretty annoying sometimes. But she tossed those thoughts aside. After all, she didn't have very many friends. It wouldn't be good to get rid of the few she had. "He was in a hurry," she said curtly.

"But you told him?" Meredith's wide eyes shone with excitement. "Don't make me pull teeth. Please Iz! What did you tell him?"

"Nothing!" Izzie rolled her eyes. How could she be so slow when she were with a brain surgeon? "I already told you that we haven't talked!"

"You two changed together but didn't say one word?" Meredith asked doubtfully.

„He was changing. I was…" Izzie stopped as she saw Meredith's amused facial expression.

"Don't draw any conclusions! I've seen Alex without his clothes on before, so…" she stopped as Meredith began to laugh. "What is so funny about that?"

"You just started blushing," she smirked. "How cute! You really should tell him how you feel." She nodded her head excitedly. "It's just too painful to watch the two of you dance around this. Derek thinks so, too."

"You talked to Derek about me and Alex?" Izzie quickly lifted her head and looked at her friend with a bewildered facial expression. "You're talking to your boyfriend about my love life!?" she asked in disbelief.

Meredith nodded. "What's so bad about that? He agrees with me anyway." She began to giggle. "Do you want to know what he said?"

"I doubt I'll be able to stop you." Izzie rolled her eyes. "Just say it already!"

"He saw the two of you at the trailer and he said that the anger between you two is actually just built up sexual tension." She grinned.

"So Derek thinks if Alex and I have sex it will replace all verbal communication and everything will be okay?" Izzie retorted sarcastically.

Bemused, Meredith raised her eyebrows. "No that's not what he meant at all," she stuttered. "But maybe it would be a start if you go to him and tell him how you feel."

"He laughed at me when I asked him where he was spending the night!" Izzie spilled out. „He's indifferent to how I feel. Do you think I'd make an even bigger fool out of myself by telling him that I love him?"

Meredith let out a relieved breath and a relaxed smile formed on her lips.

"What does that face mean?" Izzie asked, unsure.

"You said it!" Meredith said smirking.

"What did I say?" Izzie asked confused.

"That you love him!" Meredith laughed at Izzie's shocked face. "See, it's so simple! You just go to him, stand before him, and say 'Alex, I…"

She was interrupted as the door opened and Derek poked his head inside. "Are you ready?" He looked at Meredith and gave a quick nod to Izzie.

"Yeah," She stood up and looked at Izzie. "Do it soon!" She winked at her.

"I don't even know where he is!" Izzie stood up too. "And I doubt he wants me to find him."

"Who are you talking about?" Derek raised his eyebrows as he looked back and forth between Meredith and Izzie.

"Alex!" they said in unison.

Derek grinned. "As far as I know he went to Joe's for a beer." He took Meredith's arm and then glanced at Izzie. "Have a nice evening!" he said smiling as he opened the door and led himself and Meredith out of the locker room.

Sighing, Izzie went over to the small mirror that hung above the sink. She looked at herself and tried to keep a serious face.

"Alex…" she began solemnly, "I…" she stopped and shook her head. What was she doing? Didn't she just tell Meredith that she didn't want to make a fool out of herself? She walked away from the mirror and closed her eyes. "I love you!" she murmured then, grabbed her things and ran out of the locker room.

tbc


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_Joe's Bar _

She felt that she was going about this wrong when she opened the door to the bar and all eyes landed on her – all except for one pair. Alex barely even noticed who entered the bar because his head quickly snapped to face away from the door. Izzie's heart sank. She stayed still for a moment and then tightened her shoulders and walked forward. He couldn't keep ignoring her. Somehow she would have to break into his hard shell. She reached him and stood by him for a moment, taking a deep breath. For a moment she wondered if Alex felt the same way about her too, like he had when he first kissed her in front of everyone. She tried to ignore his wrinkled forehead and the look he was giving her. Now or never!

"Alex, I…" her words died on her lips as she saw what he had in front of him. Her stomach twisted and she blinked a couple of times. 'Don't start to cry!' she told herself. Her plan was ruined. "You're looking for an apartment?" she squawked.

"What about it?" he growled. He turned back to the newspaper with a pen in his hand. After a brief pause he circled one of the apartments and then made a gesture to Joe that he wanted another beer.

"Hey Izzie," the barman came over smiling. "What'll you have?" he asked as he handed Alex the beer.

"A vodka tonic, please," she gave a quick stolen glance at Alex who seemed to be deep into the apartment listings. It pained her to think he really was going to leave Derek's offer to live in the trailer. "Is this seat taken?" She tried to break down the wall he built.

He lifted his head briefly and looked at her from the side. "I'm guessing it's not," he said snippy. "Do you see anyone sitting here?"

Izzie resisted the urge to slap him. She loved him so much but there were times when she just hated him. She sat down on the bar stool and grabbed the vodka tonic that Joe had set down for her. "Are you even finding anything?" she leaned over to him to get a look at the paper.

"What do you want from me, Izzie?" He jerkily lifted his head and looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"I…" she swallowed. It was difficult to look into his piercing eyes. "I… just wanted to know if you've found an apartment," she said quickly as she lowered her head and gripped her glass.

"Why?"

Izzie felt her mouth go dry. Quickly she took a sip of her drink and nearly chocked on it. "Just … because," she said hastily. She saw the confused way he was wrinkling his forehead.

"That's not an answer." He turned to her and unabashedly looked her up and down.

Izzie was glad she was sitting. Because even though she was sitting she felt her knees weaken at his penetrating gaze. Nervously she began to play with her fingers as she lowered her head a bit. "You just disappeared yesterday," she said quietly. "Nobody knew where you were, not even Meredith." She lifted her head and looked at him. "We were just worried about you!"

Amused, he raised his eyebrows. "Meredith was worried about me?" he asked, grinning.

His reaction unsettled her but she nodded anyway.

"Meredith knew where I was," he said. "I told her I was going to stay in a motel and she said it wasn't a problem."

Izzie lowered her head as she felt herself start to blush. How embarrassing! Anger started to fill her. Why didn't Meredith say anything? Instead she let her run right into this mess. "So, did you find anything?" she tried to bring the conversation back to his apartment hunt.

"Nothing yet." He shook his head.

"Good!" Izzie let out a relieved sigh. She gripped her glass tighter as she realized he was looking at her with a mysterious look.

"So you would like it if I slept on a park bench instead?" he asked astounded. "After a while motel rooms would get pretty expensive."

"No!" she answered flatly. "I don't want you to sleep on a park bench! And I also don't want you to live in a motel!" She took a deep breath before she dared to say what was in her heart. "I want, that you and I… I mean us… together…" She started again because he probably couldn't understand anything through her stammering. "… that we move into the trailer together!" Nervously she waited for his response. She couldn't tell from his expression what he was thinking. He was just staring at her. „Please Alex, say something!" she begged when the silence became unbearable.

tbc


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Slowly Alex stuck the key into the lock to the trailer door and breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened without any resistance. "Derek said it sticks sometimes," he said to Izzie. He made a gesture for her to go before him and he grabbed their suitcases and carried them inside. So this was it – their new home. He still couldn't believe that back in the bar he had agreed to move in with her. He must be mentally deranged. But they were here now and there was no going back.

"You can put both of those suitcases over here," Izzie said as she saw that Alex was just standing in the doorway. "And your bag is still outside. Can you get that too?"

Finally she was alone with him. Feelings of euphoria floated through her. How long had she waited for this?

"Sure." He quickly set down the suitcases and went outside to get the bag. "Do you want to unpack them right now?" he asked her as he set the bag on top of the suitcases.

Izzie shook her head. "Later." She looked at him. "Did you find the groceries, too?"

Alex nodded. "Derek and I were here earlier to stock the fridge." He grinned. "We've even got beer in the fridge."

"I'd rather have a hot chocolate right now." Izzie wrapped her arms around herself and nodded towards the heater. "Do you think that's working? It's really cold in here."

"Didn't you bring a jacket?" Alex asked, wrinkling his forehead. "It's October, Izzie. You can't run around in a t-shirt anymore!"

"This isn't a t-shirt. It's a short-sleeved blouse!" She corrected him and rolled her eyes. "And usually I would wear a long-sleeved shirt underneath it but when we were packing I was warm and I took it off. And my jacket is packed in the suitcase."

This wasn't starting well. Why did he always have to run her mouth?

"Whatever." He made a gesture as if to brush it away and went over to the heater to turn it up. "I'm guessing it'll be a bit before the room heats up," he said apologetically.

"Are you hungry?" Izzie asked him, changing the subject. "I can order a pizza."

Alex had trouble trying to suppress his laughter. "I doubt anyone would deliver all the way out here," he said smiling. "We're in the middle of nowhere. I'm not even sure if this place has an address."

"Didn't Derek ever get any mail?" Izzie asked, surprised.

"I think he had a postbox in the hospital." Alex scratched his head. "But I don't know for sure. I'll ask him tomorrow when I see him."

"So no pizza," Izzie sighed discontentedly as she opened the fridge, hoping to be inspired. "Then we'll just see what we can find here - eggs, milk, jam, yogurt, butter…" she listed off. She wrinkled her forehead and then continued, "…beer, beer, beer…" She lifted her head and looked bewildered at Alex. "You said earlier that you filled the fridge. So where's the rest of it?"

Alex walked over to her and opened the cupboard above the stove. "Here."

"That's it?" She asked as she saw there was nothing more in the cupboard than coffee, coffee filters, bread, maple syrup, and a packet of cereals. She shot him an indignant look. "You can't be serious!" she said angrily. "Half the fridge is full of beer but there's nothing to make for dinner!"

"I thought we would really go shopping tomorrow." He shrugged his shoulders. "This is enough for breakfast."

"Do what you want!" Annoyed, Izzie grabbed the door of the cupboard and shoved it and then winced, shocked, as the door came off its hinges and landed on top of the stove. "Oh my God!" She jumped back and felt strong arms hold onto her. Tiny lightening bolts shot through her body as the hairs on her arm stood up.

"I should have told you that the door is only hanging by one hinge – or, was," he stammered. He abruptly let her go as if he had burned himself. It was always the same. As soon as their bodies touched, he wasn't able to think anymore. He would have to be more careful to avoid these situations in the future.

"Is there anything else I should know about?" she sniffed angrily, disappointed that he let go of her. She had been so close to telling him how she felt. Why did he have to ruin that moment?

"No, I don't think so." Alex shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the stove to examine the door. "I'll try to fix it tomorrow." He propped the door up next to the stove. His eyes landed on the bed. "Maybe we should work out sleeping arrangements first." He slid his hands in his jeans pockets and looked at her.

It was silly that all of a sudden her pulse sped up and hands started to sweat. But the thought of sleeping with him in the bed was so enticing. She licked her lips. "Alex, I…" but she didn't get very far.

"It's okay. You don't need to say it." He made a gesture for her to be silent. "I haven't forgotten our last conversation. You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the pullout couch.  
"We can switch half way through the year," he smirked.

Stunned, she stared at him. It hurts that he was so indifferent. What had she expected? She had hoped that he still had some feelings for her. Alex saw her just as a roommate, nothing more.

"Fine!" She said, upset. "Then we've got everything figured out." She went to one of the suitcases and opened it. Angrily she grabbed a bath towel and then snapped at him, "If you don't mind I would like to shower now!" She didn't wait for his answer as she opened the door to the shower and saw on the floor a giant spider. Disgusted she quickly slammed the door shut again. "I can't stay here!" she said as she pushed Alex aside to get to the door. It was too much. Alex's indifference towards her, the cold, the broken door, nothing to eat, and now a spider in the shower!

"What happened?" he called after her.

Without answering him Izzie opened the door to the trailer and ran outside. Darkness surrounded her and the bitter cold seeped through her thin blouse in seconds.

Alex opened the door to the shower and briefly raised his eyebrows as he saw what Izzie had run from. "It's just a harmless spider," he tried to play it down after he too walked outside. "Come back inside! You're going to freeze out here!" He rolled his eyes. "Besides, out here there are much bigger and much more dangerous animals than spiders!"

"Never again will I set foot in that trailer!" She stomped her foot. "I'd rather die!" She hadn't completely finished her sentence when he came over to her and picked her up.

"Not if I can help it." His tone showed no resistance. He strengthened his hold as she began to defend herself.

"Put me down right now! What is wrong with you?" Izzie began beating her fists against his chest but she knew it wasn't doing any good. He was a lot stronger than her. Eventually she gave up and let him bring her into the trailer. A warmth spread through her as she entered the trailer. Apparently the heater was working, she thought. "Put me down, Alex!" she begged in a softer tone.

Reluctantly, he appeased her. He gently set her down while looking into her eyes the entire time. Her hair had fallen over her face and he automatically brushed it aside. What came next he had neither planned nor intended. He was even willing to get slapped for it. But he couldn't help it.

Izzie didn't know if she were still shivering from the cold or from his touch. But she didn't have much time to think about it because he suddenly lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. Forgotten were all the reasons why she didn't want to stay in the trailer as she wrapped her arms around his neck and replied by kissing him passionately.

tbc


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It took them both a while to notice that someone was knocking on the trailer door. Alex was the first to pull away and left a confused Izzie with a million thoughts running through her head.

"Hey you two!" Meredith said as she walked into the trailer after Alex opened the door. She set a basket down at his feet and handed him a bag of warm fluffy blankets.

"Here! I thought you guys might need these." She wrapped her arms around herself. "It can get pretty chilly here at night." She pointed to the heater. "Is that at least working?"

Alex nodded mechanically. He looked over at Izzie who was still standing absent-mindedly where he'd left, rubbing her fingers over her lips. He cleared his throat to bring her out of her trance. "Iz…Meredith's here and she brought us some blankets," he said, enunciating every word.

"And food!" Meredith grinned pointing at the basket at his feet. "Derek told me that the two of you bought food only for breakfast." She looked back and forth between Izzie and Alex. "Well you must be hungry!" She picked up the basket again and brought it over to the stove. She raised her eyebrows curiously as she saw the broken door. "Finally somebody did it. I was always scared to get into that cupboard." She opened the basket and started setting things on the counter. "Okay so I have chicken and eggs and fresh bread. And also some salad, olives, and cheese," she listed.

"Sounds good," Alex said as he scratched his head and looked over at Izzie again who had yet to say anything. "We thought about maybe ordering a pizza at first," he quickly said, just to say something.

"Did Derek tell you that cell phones work only outside? There's no service inside the trailer." Meredith took three plates out of the cupboard and looked suspiciously at Izzie. "Aren't your clothes a little thin for this weather?"

"I already told her that," Alex said quickly. He walked over to Izzie and gently touched her arm. "Iz," he said calmly, "Are you coming?" He pointed to the table where Meredith was putting the food.

"What?" She lifted her head surprised. Only now did she realize they weren't alone. "Meredith?!" She asked surprised.

Meredith gave Alex a questioning look. "Um… yes." She wrinkled her forehead. "Is everything okay?" She looked at her friends skeptically.

"Yeah… everything's great," Izzie let out a nervous laugh and looked over at Alex.

The kiss still burned against her lips. It all felt so unreal. Why had he kissed her?

"You brought chicken? Yummy!" Izzie said.

"Yeah I thought you would like it." Meredith started to giggle. "Don't worry! Derek cooked it. I just watched and then put everything together in the basket." She sat down next to Alex and looked at him, "So have you settled in a bit?"

"There was a spider in the shower," Izzie said before Alex could answer.

Meredith made a face. "Yeah, those little guys are everywhere. Derek has a container to catch them in somewhere." She looked around. "Maybe its in the closet with the rifles." She took a piece of chicken and laid it on her plate. "You don't mind if I eat with you, do you? Derek is having a boys' night with Mark." She rolled her eyes. "So what was I talking about?"

"We were talking about spiders," Izzie shivered slightly.

"Right," Meredith nodded. She pointed over to the bed. "Imagine, one night I wake up because I feel something tickling my nose…"

"Oh my God!" Izzie didn't want to hear more. Disgusted, she stood up, "I don't think I can live here anymore! I hate spiders!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrows. "We're living in the woods. It's normal if every once and a while a little creature makes its way into the trailer." He shrugged his shoulders. "I think Derek has those rifles for a reason."

Meredith nodded. "There are a lot of raccoons out here. And foxes and rabbits. But they're harmless. You have to watch out for…" she looked over at Izzie who walked over to the bed and grabbed her suitcase.

"I want to leave! Please, Meredith, can you bring me to a motel?" Izzie avoided looking at Alex.

Meredith looked over at him, concerned, before she answered. "Okay, yeah… if that's what you want. But I think you're overreacting."

"I'll get the rest tomorrow." She pointed at her other suitcase. She was miserable and tired and hungry and she just wanted to be alone to sort out her confusing thoughts.

"Good thing you're not a real estate agent!" Alex rolled his eyes at Meredith. "You would scare off all your clients."

Irritated, she just looked at him. She didn't know what she had said that was so bad that Izzie would start to panic. "Are you staying here?"

Alex nodded. "I'll look for that damn container and catch the spider." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Thank you, by the way, for your excellent timing!" he said ironically.

Meredith didn't have to think about what he meant because Izzie opened the door and left the trailer. "We'll talk about this later," she said to him as she hurried after Izzie.

Sighing, Alex got up and cleared the table after both of them had left. He'd lost his appetite. He went over to Derek's rifle closet and opened it.

tbc


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Izzie sat on her bed in Meredith's house, an almost empty box of tissues next to her. All over on the floor around her were crumpled up tissues filled with her tears. She felt as though part of her life's happiness had been stolen. She thought that maybe she had closed the door to Alex's heart forever and the tears started pouring down her face again. Everything could have been so perfect! They had been ready to really live together. But she messed everything up. Why did she run away? She didn't even spend one night in the trailer. Maybe it was just wishful thinking anyway that she and Alex would have been happy.

She thought about what Meredith had said to her. She didn't think it would be that bad – not in her worst nightmares. True, she'd grown up in a trailer but not in the middle of the woods! There was a big difference. She just wasn't built for this. And her time in Meredith's house showed her there was another to live. Izzie pulled another tissue from the box and wiped her tears. She lost everything in one night. Her house, and the man she loved.

"Izzie?"

Shocked, Izzie looked up. "Meredith, I didn't hear you come in!" Quickly she gathered up her tissues and shoved them under her pillow.

"Can I come in?" Meredith asked, unsure, as she looked at Izzie with concern.

"Sure," Izzie said calmly. "Sit down!" She patted the space next to her with her hand.

Hesitantly Meredith sat down. "This is because of Alex, isn't it?" She didn't beat around the bush and pointed to the empty box of tissues.

Izzie nodded. It didn't matter anymore if she lied or told the truth. She blew her chances with him. "I acted so crazy!" She rolled her eyes. "He must think I'm such a dumb citybilly that gets afraid of little bugs!"

"It's a hillbilly," Meredith corrected smiling.

"It doesn't matter anymore." Izzie lifted her head and looked at Meredith with tears in her eyes. "Thank you for letting me spend the night here!" she said almost sobbing. "I don't know where else I can go."

It broke Meredith's heart to see her friend so unhappy. "Iz," Meredith began tentatively, "I have to tell you something."

"It's okay," Izzie interrupted. "I know what you're going to say. But don't worry, just this one night and then I'll be out of the house." She wiped her eyes. "I'll just move into a hotel and find an apartment as soon as I can."

Meredith slowly shook her head. "That's not what I wanted to say." She looked down at her hands, embarrassed. "Its not easy for me to say but…" she cleared her throat nervously. "I lied! I've never seen any dangerous animals in the woods. And Derek never used his fishing net to catch spiders." She rolled her eyes at the absurd thought.

"What are you saying?" Izzie looked at her, surprised.

"I lied, Izzie!" Meredith spat out. "I over exaggerated because I didn't want the two of you living in the trailer. Although it can be romantic," she added.

"You lied?" Izzie couldn't quite believe it. "But why?" She couldn't comprehend anything anymore.

Meredith wet her lips. "Because you're my family too … you and Alex," she said hastily. "And I could never let my family live in a trailer," she finished.

Tears started to form in Izzie's eyes again. "That is…" she couldn't find the right words.

Meredith used Izzie's moment of weakness to continue. "Before I drove out to you I talked to Derek. And he agreed to let you move back in here." She grinned. "Men are all the same. If you go about the right way, they'll melt like butter in the sun."

Izzie had to laugh at what Meredith said. "You're terrible! Why didn't you talk to Derek before Alex and I moved in?"

"Some projects just require a lot of preparation and a bit of persuasiveness." She winked at Izzie.

"Poor Derek!" Izzie playfully punched her friend in the side. "He doesn't know what he's gotten himself into."

"I hope you two were behaving yourselves." Meredith held a mock serious face. "No orgies!" She laughed at Izzie's confused face. "That was supposed to be a joke!"

"I got the feeling that Alex liked it in the trailer." Izzie ignored Meredith's last comment and sighed. "He probably won't want to come back. He loved the wilderness and the privacy." She strengthened her point by dramatically rolling her eyes.

"And the fight?" asked Meredith grinning. "How did that go?"

"What?" Izzie lifted her head surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Your little fight outside," Meredith teased Izzie. "Sadly, I didn't catch everything you were saying."

"I…" Izzie felt herself start to blush. "You…you saw us….?" She stopped in the middle of her sentence as Meredith grinned again and nodded.

"I was just getting out of my car but you guys didn't notice me."

Izzie felt like sinking into the floorboards because she was so embarrassed. "It was just…" she searched for the right words. "just a little fight."

"Between lovers?" Meredith smiled. "Oh come on, Izzie! Its so obvious that the two of you…" She stopped as she heard Derek's voice in the hall. "That's Derek," she quickly explained. "I asked him to drive to the trailer to talk to Alex." She smiled at Izzie's shocked face. "Didn't I tell you that?"

"No," she quickly shook her head. Panic settled in as she heard Alex's voice together with Derek's. "I thought he liked it in the trailer! What's he doing here?"

"You just cried your eyes out over him and know you're wishing he stayed in the trailer?" Meredith wrinkled her forehead. "I don't get it Izzie."

"I didn't have any time to get ready!" She pushed Meredith off the bed and slipped under the covers. "Tell him," she wet her lips, "Tell him that I'm already asleep."

"You want me to lie?" Meredith asked, surprised.

"You've had more practice than me!" Izzie pulled the comforter up higher. "Please Meredith! I don't want to see him now!"

"Okay," Meredith folded her arms across her chest. "Under one condition." A wide grin formed on her lips. "You tell me what happened after he picked you up and brought you back in the trailer."

"That's black mail!"

"I think they're coming up the stairs," Meredith listened. "So what happened? Or should I ask Alex?" she teased.

Izzie abruptly sat up. "No!" she said with shocked wide eyes.

"Mer, are you here?"

"It's Derek!" Izzie whispered. "Go Meredith! I'll tell you everything tomorrow!" She rolled her eyes impatiently. "Please!" she begged again.

"Okay, just this one time. But tomorrow I want to hear everything!" She grinned at Izzie again and then slipped out of her room.

Izzie let out a sigh of relief. But the relaxed feeling didn't last because shortly after Meredith left there was a knock on her door.

tbc


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

She could have felt his presence through many layers of concrete and right now there was only a wooden door. Izzie put her hand to her chest to try to slow her racing heart as she looked at the door. Would he just come in if she didn't say anything?

Alex waited until he was sure Derek and Meredith were downstairs before he knocked on Izzie's door. Meredith told him that Izzie was asleep but he knew it was a lie. He'd heard very clearly a minute before Izzie's voice as he came up the stairs with Derek.

Without thinking Izzie raised her hand to her mouth. Every time she closed her eyes she felt his warm lips on hers and felt the warmth of his body as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed further into him.

"Iz… can we talk?" He didn't know if it was a good idea to talk to her now. She was probably hiding from him on purpose and wanted to avoid talking. The kiss was probably why she was acting like this. Maybe it was better to leave her alone. But he couldn't do it. There had been times in the past when he had left her alone and let her go. But not this time. It was almost as if he had an invisible force pushing inside of him.

"Iz, please! I know you're not sleeping."

Izzie heart stopped for a moment. He knew she was awake? Then why didn't he just come in? She stared at the door as if it would open at any moment. But other than feeling his presence through the door, nothing happened.

Alex took a couple of deep breaths. Apparently she didn't want to talk to him. And maybe this was one of those moments that it was better not to be right in front of her. What he wanted to say to her he could say it behind the door, too. He took another deep breath.

"I know that you're confused," he said quickly. "I'm not blind, deaf or dumb. I know the kiss was a little too much for you right now. You ran away. But I don't have any regrets." He stopped and cleared his throat. "After you and Meredith left and I was alone in the trailer I realized how empty and lonely my life is without you!" he confessed quietly . "No, actually I've known that for a bit longer," he corrected himself. „The night when we kissed and I fell asleep in your arms … In the morning I knew what I'd been hiding from you for a long time." He stopped again and pressed his hands to the door. "I love you, Iz! I've loved you since you got mad at me for putting up the Bethany Whisper pictures in the locker room. I can't do anything about it. I just love you!" He cleared his throat again. "That's all I wanted to say." He took a step back. "Oh, and you don't have to feel bad that you don't feel the same way about me. It's okay. I just thought it was time to tell you how I feel." He listened for a second and then shrugged his shoulders when he didn't hear anything. "Sleep well, Iz! Goodnight!"

He finally did it, he thought with relief. A weight had been lifted off his chest. Izzie didn't love him. He was sure of that now. She just saw him as a close friend. He let out a sigh and then turned and went into his room next to hers.

Izzie sat frozen in her bed while tears flowing down her cheeks. It felt unreal. The whole situation felt unreal. Maybe she was just dreaming. Alex didn't really stand in front of her door and told her that he loved her. That was just wishful thinking. Reality and fantasy had blended together in a very strange way. But it didn't matter if it were reality or a dream. She knew what she had to do now. She didn't care if the last ten minutes happened only in her head. It gave her the strength and the courage to do what she should have done a long time ago.

Quickly, she pushed the covers back and sprang out of her bed. She hastily opened her door and ran over to Alex's room. When she pushed the door open, she saw his puzzled facial expression. She knew what she had to do. And for the first time in a long time she knew she did the right thing. Slowly she walked over to him until she stood right in front of him.

"I love you, too!" she said in a soft voice before she threw her arms around his neck and brought her head closer to his until their lips touched.

_**The End**_


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